I'm attempting to acquire a more positive impression of coaching as a concept. Do you have any positive experiences with coaches, of whatever sort you'd like to tell me about?
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Same. I know a lot of coaches who have really struggled with the idea of calling themselves life coaches. But it also seems like going through the process of getting comfortable with it is also valuable.
Perhaps you need coaching coaches to help you get comfortable.
This is both a good idea in principle and also it seems literally impossible to do this without feeling like you're selling snake oil, and therefore anyone who did it for real would be a snake oil salesperson. 
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I feel like, for you to believe your second point, you're misunderstanding what coaching is? Coaches are people like any other, who have their own challenges, blocks and ways of getting stuck. Most have coaches of their own, and that's a Good Thing.
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If the current challenge of a coach is 'being comfortable calling myself a coach', why shouldn't they work with a coach to explore that?
End of conversation
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