If I ever come across as belittling and mocking of core traumas and fears you vulnerably express and reveal, it's probably because I find it ridiculous that things others did to you could damage your core worth in ANY way. Lmao you're whole and entirely lovable 
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Replying to @WeftOfSoul
I can relate to this, I've tried to help people with body image issues by telling them BUT YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL/HANDSOME It's counterintuitive but it turns out that just deepens the disconnect, they hear it as "you are deluded and should feel guilty about <having body issues>"
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Replying to @limitoftruth @WeftOfSoul
According to my understanding the only way to work through feelings, no matter how irrational or ungrounded in reality they seem, is to awknowledge them as valid Trying to dismiss them just strengthens them
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Replying to @limitoftruth @WeftOfSoul
My model (relevant: https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/i9xyZBS3qzA8nFXNQ/book-summary-unlocking-the-emotional-brain … ) is that there's an emotional learning saying that they *need* their issue/trauma in order to be safe, so if you undermine it directly then you are threatening their safety. Need to curiously engage with its reasons to change them.
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Yeah. The frame I've adopted (partly based on this post) as most useful is that emotions are valid in the sense that they are a reasonable thing to feel, but that does not necessarily mean the thing they're pointing to is literally correct.
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Replying to @GeniesLoki @xuenay and
The useful attitude is neither arguing nor acceptance but more like... a gentle open-minded curiousity. "If this thing you feel is true, it is the right thing to feel. If it is not, it's still OK that you feel it. Shall we figure out what's going on?"
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Well maybe not *right* thing to feel. But the point is that the emotion is pointing at something and we should look at where it's pointing and assume that there is a reason underlying it that we should discover and maybe act on.
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