There is (= should be!) choice about what you DO, sexually and in terms of your gender presentation. There certainly is around your identity. But choice about your sexual attraction and internal sense of your gender? Not much, if any, of that is.
My intuition is that the best way to do it is a mix of a) Become fully emotionally comfortable with the idea (may require extensive emotional processing skills and plenty of actual therapy) and b) Experiment extensively with sex with the gender you're trying to be interested in.
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Suspect it's going to vary a lot based on flexibility of sexuality, also. I have a partner who's exclusively into trans men who write good fiction and I suspect it would be hard to get them to flex much away from that.
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To be clear, I think it's hard to *get* anyone to change in this regard, I mean bihacking which is not only consensual but stems from actively wanting to enlarge range of sexual interests rather than feeling bad about current ones. If they don't want that probably nothing works
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