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the 50 shades example is specifically about violating interpersonal boundaries as a kink 
so this kind of intensity may still be "invasive"/domineering, but sometimes/at some point that becomes attractive?
otherwise I think "intensity" could be a proxy for other qualities too
I think the problem might also be not intensity but where it is directed. Intensity in and of itself is good, but having an unwarranted and unwelcome level of it directed specifically at you feels dangerous.
In a stranger I think intensity needs to be coupled with self-control to feel safe I think.
There's a thing where _exactly the same behaviors_ will be read as either high status or creepy depending on what you think of the person.
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