Thought loosely spinning off this morning's pages: One of the reasons a lot of male feminists are kinda miserable is that the lack of a male lived experience informed theory means that often you remove one half of a message but not the other and the result is unsustainable.
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For example your traditional heterosexual relationship implicit contract is basically a division of labour, with each side taking care of the other in slightly different ways. (Which is not to say everyone is *good* at this, but best case scenario this is how it works)
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But then you've got a bunch of feminist theory pointing out that many of the burdens placed on the woman in this scenario are unreasonable. Fair enough. This is true. BUT this really was two sides in the original format. Unequal maybe, but still two sided.
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And if you don't address both sides, what you end up with is men believing: 1. It is inappropriate for me to expect my partner to take care of me (feminism). 2. It is my duty to take care of my partner (patriarchy). This is not a fun set of beliefs to hold.
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Replying to @GeniesLoki
I don't think we pay enough attention in general to how various conflicting cultural-scale belief systems end up as inter- and intra- personal tensions We tend to focus on effects of one belief system or another, and not of simultaneously internalizing two conflicting ones...
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Replying to @GeniesLoki @lisatomic5
I think there's also a related thing of "How people rejustify the norms they started with in terms of the principles of the new belief systems" e.g. when people reject their religious backgrounds you find they have a lot of totally secular honest reasons for holding same ethics.
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(Or to tie this back in to the original examples e.g. how there are very good feminist reasons why men should absolutely be strong and suppress their emotions that we're definitely not endorsing because of inherited patriarchal gender bullshit)
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