I think it helps that I've got very good metacognition, so I spend a lot of time paying attention to the structure of my thoughts, and I'm good enough at separating myself from my emotional responses a bit that I can then go "Actually, is this helpful?"
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Key to this is cultivating a feeling of safety - that it's OK to talk about these feelings, that nobody is going to hate you or judge you for having emotions. This helps you feel safe in your own emotional state and gradually start addressing some of the fear.
Also sex is often a good hook in for this, because a lot of this work leads to directly improved sex life, and this helps make it fun rather than feeling like a giant unpleasant slog.
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In general seeking positive emotions is good because positive emotions are fun and if you're just constantly confronting negative feelings you'll want to give up. You'll end up confronting the negative feelings too, mind, but "feel good" is more motivating than "don't feel bad"
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Thanks for this
I do feel quite comfortable talking about my feelings with my partner (or friends). But my emotional range just seems to be quite steady and unvolatile and I don't know how to have some spikes here and there (either positive or negative) - Show replies
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