GeniesLoki

Teach me

Mostly I think it's just the end result of countless hours spent helping friends debug their own emotional problems and talking to myself like I talk to them / would like them to talk to themselves.

Makes sense. Does not come naturally to me at all.

I think it helps that I've got very good metacognition, so I spend a lot of time paying attention to the structure of my thoughts, and I'm good enough at separating myself from my emotional responses a bit that I can then go "Actually, is this helpful?"

Sounds like a great skill! My ability to do that varies hugely by my own context (health, sleep, nutrition, work, stress levels) and the nature of the think I'd be noticing (BPD is a real pain), so it can be difficult to stop even when I do notice. Making progress though.

I mean the flipside of this is that I've had to spend the last two years working really hard to get to a point where I can have strong emotional responses to anything. So I think partly we're just starting from being stuck at opposite ends of a spectrum.

I identify strongly with this. My emotional responses are usually very controlled or even muted, and while this is definitely a benefit in many contexts, I sometimes wonder if I'm losing out on engaging with my feelings more. Being in a neutral state all the time is kinda boring

Tbh I know that I should work on this, but 1) I'm not sure what concrete steps to take and 2) I shy away from strong feelings/I'm scared