Since we're doing shadow work now, try this one: what if the reason you're being nasty to yourself is that there are no real, immediately obvious bad consequences to doing so?
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Makes sense. Does not come naturally to me at all.
questioning, disciplined, challenging, okay, but not meaner!
I think it helps that I've got very good metacognition, so I spend a lot of time paying attention to the structure of my thoughts, and I'm good enough at separating myself from my emotional responses a bit that I can then go "Actually, is this helpful?"
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Sounds like a great skill! My ability to do that varies hugely by my own context (health, sleep, nutrition, work, stress levels) and the nature of the think I'd be noticing (BPD is a real pain), so it can be difficult to stop even when I do notice. Making progress though.
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I mean the flipside of this is that I've had to spend the last two years working really hard to get to a point where I can have strong emotional responses to anything. So I think partly we're just starting from being stuck at opposite ends of a spectrum.
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