Thought loosely spinning off this morning's pages: One of the reasons a lot of male feminists are kinda miserable is that the lack of a male lived experience informed theory means that often you remove one half of a message but not the other and the result is unsustainable.
And yeah I think there's a significant problem where (on both sides really) feminists feel like a man getting emotional support from a female partner is somehow bad, but not vice versa. And yeah, there's 100% bad versions of this. Really bad. But some amount of it is vital.
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Hmm I kinda see how you could take that away from the discourse around emotional labour. That's really sad if it's happening.
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FWIW the message I've internalised from what I've read about this stuff is "make sure you do your side of the emotional labour and are available when your partner needs you" rather than "don't rely on your partner for emotional support because that's unfair"
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