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But then you've got a bunch of feminist theory pointing out that many of the burdens placed on the woman in this scenario are unreasonable. Fair enough. This is true. BUT this really was two sides in the original format. Unequal maybe, but still two sided.
And if you don't address both sides, what you end up with is men believing: 1. It is inappropriate for me to expect my partner to take care of me (feminism). 2. It is my duty to take care of my partner (patriarchy). This is not a fun set of beliefs to hold.
"a division of labour, with each side taking care of the other in slightly different ways" - what kind of labour are you talking about here? Like mainly emotional support type stuff or more division of housework?
Interesting thread, personally I feel that feminism has overwhelmingly done good things for my relationships
Write a book.
I think there's a thing where the downside of having a standardized division of labour is that it's unfair for a lot of people. But the downside of having a "everyone make their own version" is that it's harder to tell if something is fair because you can't compare it to "normal"
Yeah. There's also the "Origins of Unfairness" argument that actually a standardised division of labour is often great for everyone when compared to its absence, it's just more great for one side than the other.
Oh uh hmm... 
I don't think we pay enough attention in general to how various conflicting cultural-scale belief systems end up as inter- and intra- personal tensions We tend to focus on effects of one belief system or another, and not of simultaneously internalizing two conflicting ones...
Huge +1 to this, yeah.
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