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Relationship* tool: When you are having Complicated Feelings about someone, start a document titled "Things I want to say to (name)" and write down what you would say to them if you trusted them completely. * Doesn't have to be a romantic one, though some mostly useful if close.
If you are feeling exceptionally brave and can rely on them to not freak, you can actually share it with them, but even if you don't share it having articulated the thoughts is helpful, and may lead to you being able to talk to them about more of it than you otherwise would have.
(I used this recently with a friend. We'd laid a lot of groundwork already so I just said "fuck it" and shared the whole thing. It went very well. They are in turn using it with their partner and are quite sensibly not sharing it but just using it as a journaling tool)
Me except between my Enneagram personalities. Is this what they call IFS?
I just did this yesterday, and wound up with some time with that person, and it naturally came up and was super helpful. Having written it down, it was articulate on the way up. What sort of things did you write down? Questions? Things you wanted to share?
Hmm hard to explain without providing too much context but roughly "here's what my end of this positive but confusing scenario looks like and here is how I would ideally like to proceed"
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