In retrospect it’s precisely “very small things that people think they’re getting away with” that tanked my last two relationship. Very surprised at that
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I've definitely done this. hard to undo incorrectly afraid tho... do I need to develop tolerance for minor hiding?
I think it depends on what you mean by this? 1. "hiding" because they just intrinsically want privacy about something is something you should just accept as a valid need. 2. hiding because they're afraid of your reactions is something to "tolerate" by being non-judgemental.
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But in scenario (2) it usually indicates an underlying need/fear that it's worth talking about? The goal is to not have those, but responding to them badly will make them worse and it's better to just say "I'm sorry you felt you had to hide that" and work on the underlying fear.
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Fear of being seen is the easiest way to derail a relationship, because being seen as we are is terrifying but also desire to be seen as we are is a key feature of love.
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Thanks, this is helpful distinction. I think I’ll work on both
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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