I used to think better posture would make me look better. It didn't occur to me that I'd *feel* so much better - a visceral knowledge of being stronger, more resilient, as I go about my daily life
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This probably applies to lots of things. We tell ourselves that X will make us a more appealing mate, because we'll be fitter/happier/more productive but like... We could cut out the middle person and want that for ourselves?
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Essentially all of my last two years of emotional progress were prompted by starting a new relationship and not wanting to fuck it up. I've spent a considerable amount of time going "Man it sure would have been good if I'd just done this for myself five years earlier wouldn't it?
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(Five years roughly because I wasn't ready for it before then and also because a lot of it was clearing up emotional debris from The Incident in 2012 which probably couldn't have happened immediately)
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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I wonder (for myself too) how much of it is relationships making it feel urgent - I need to be a good partner now or this person will be lost to me! And how much is the person acting as a mirror - I can't deflect attention from my problems because that'd mean ignoring my lover
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A connection that made me go ouch when I made it is that I tend not to treat my problems as important unless they affect other people - e.g. I'm happy for my room to be a mess, but would feel mortified if I left a major mess in a shared space.
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