why is it that most of the women i know (and none of the men) seem to have really bad anxiety
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Very confused at the idea that the men you know don't have really bad anxiety. Doesn't track my experience of men at all. I'd probably agree that women I know have it worse, but a lot of men I know seem pretty fucking anxious.
Partial citation: I am one of the men I know and am pretty fucking anxious. Though I've finally found the right levers to pull and dials to turn to bring that down a bit in the last few years.
