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And I guess a lot of the time it's genuinely not a big deal, but sometimes it is. Of the incidents I have in mind almost all were NBD but one I was genuinely upset about it and have modified my behaviour accordingly to avoid that situation in future.
Both in the sense of treating the woman in question as intrinsically unsafe and also I'm never going to render myself that incapable of meaningful consent again unless I 100% trust everyone I'm doing it with. It didn't go as far as that makes it sound, but it was very unsettling.
) but I'm pretty sure it's happened. I think me being big and brown particularly makes some women feel like I couldn't possibly have any issues with them touching me