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It has only just occurred to me that my experience on something may be atypical. Men: Do you have experiences of women being bad at consent/boundaries in slightly creepy ways? e.g. touching you more than welcome. Anything where gender swapped version would be obviously creepy.
"Yes this is totally a thing that happens, women aren't very good at this because they've never needed to learn to be" is an opinion that I often find myself disagreeing with others on and it's just occurred to me that... maybe this isn't a thing that happens to most men?
It doesn't happen to me a *lot*, but it's definitely a thing that happens to me, and I just assumed that was normal.
This isn't a humblebrag I promise. I genuinely dislike it when this happens, it's very uncomfortable, and I'm pretty sure it doesn't happen to me just because I'm attractive.
OK, based on the responses I'm updating back in favour of this probably being normal. But I'd still like to hear about your experiences if you'd like to talk about them.
Two memorable examples for me: 1. Someone who was a casual friend got *very* handsy with me at a party. Pretty sure she asked and I gave permission, but I was clearly far too... lets say incapacitated... to be remotely capable of consenting.
It was right on the boundary of acceptability but I still feel unsettled by the experience a few years later. I didn't do anything about it other than avoiding similar situations in future and treating her as likely to be unsafe.
2. Other memorable incident was in some ways more minor but could have escalated further. On public transport late at night. Drunk woman put her arm around me and all but dragged me into her equally drunk group of friends while chatting animatedly at me.
I stoically put up with her for a few minutes then politely disentangled myself and made my excuses. Nothing came of it but I was very aware that there were quite a lot more of them than me and that the potential for A Scene existed.
Beyond that, lots of minor touching things, nothing I can specifically pinpoint as memorable, just a general sense that women are much more willing to touch me (not just casually, which is fine) in ways that I'd feel *really* uncomfortable doing the same to them without consent.
I really don't mind, but I feel like I encounter a fairly common movement which consists of: 'laugh, lean in to the chest, and touch on the arm' which feels like it would set off my creepy signals if it were gender-swapped.
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