GeniesLoki

In this tweet I will grant you a super power of great insight, at the low low cost of becoming *intensely* annoying to hang out with: Every time tells a self-deprecating joke, they mean it literally and are pointing to a deep-seated insecurity they hope you won't notice.

I Wana go one deeper. They actually want you to both A take seriously their insecurity, B reassure then they're not terrible

Sometimes, yeah, but most of the time if you actually *do* this they will find it very annoying.

i find that it generally isn't productive to *challenge* the insecurity directly, but can be helpful to just, sit with it and listen, silently reassure moving a little closer. offer reassuring touch on a shoulder. "hey, i know it's hard" is often all you need.

To expound on that, I think challenging someone's self-professed insecurity is invalidating. Essentially telling them they shouldn't feel that way.

I now respond by just going the other extreme and joking that it's probably a lot worse than they think. E.g. "eurgh my skin is looking shit" -> "yeh you look like shit right now!!" Which usually gets me an eye roll and we move on swiftly

The point isn't to be a dick or to not deal with it - it's to make them disagree with my (clearly ridiculous) assessment and snap them out of thinking the same about themselves