In this tweet I will grant you a super power of great insight, at the low low cost of becoming *intensely* annoying to hang out with: Every time tells a self-deprecating joke, they mean it literally and are pointing to a deep-seated insecurity they hope you won't notice.
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Replying to @GeniesLoki
I Wana go one deeper. They actually want you to both A take seriously their insecurity, B reassure then they're not terrible
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Replying to @AnonaGotta
Sometimes, yeah, but most of the time if you actually *do* this they will find it very annoying.
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Replying to @GeniesLoki @AnonaGotta
i find that it generally isn't productive to *challenge* the insecurity directly, but can be helpful to just, sit with it and listen, silently reassure moving a little closer. offer reassuring touch on a shoulder. "hey, i know it's hard" is often all you need.
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Replying to @ghostynewt @GeniesLoki
To expound on that, I think challenging someone's self-professed insecurity is invalidating. Essentially telling them they shouldn't feel that way.
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Replying to @AnonaGotta @ghostynewt
Yeah although an interesting thing about relationships in which everyone is aware of this dynamic is that people start leaning into that by making jokes where they say outrageous things that they know to be false but still feel to be true.
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One of my example signature moves here is "The problem in this situation is that I am not yet god and as a result can't fix everything and help everyone. I should get on with that."
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And there sometimes a bit of challenging is exactly what's being invited by making the joke.
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Replying to @GeniesLoki @ghostynewt
Ah the layers of human complexity. This is why predictions about human behavior in the future are always so bad. Common knowledge changes and people respond.
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