Stray thought: I wonder if people who object to being a free therapist for their partner also object to being a free sex worker.
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I should perhaps point out that I am typically the "free therapist" in my friendships and relationships to a really disproportionate degree. I'm not saying that people don't have valid problems they are describing by this term, I'm saying that I think the labelling is badly off.
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I've seen this go very well and I've seen this go very badly. When it goes very well, it looks nothing like therapy because it is about mutuality and deepening the relationship. When it goes very badly it looks nothing like therapy because you cannot be sufficiently objective.
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In the bad scenarios they are almost always behaving in ways that would make for a spectacularly shitty therapy client, and your options for dealing with that are very limited in a way that they would not be for an actual therapist.
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Is there any space in the middle for this kind of phenomenon? If so, what would it be like? How to stay above it?
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I'm not sure, but I don't think so! I think healthy emotional support with your partner intrinsically deepens the relationship in a way that it doesn't with a therapist, and a relationship intrinsically lacks the objectivity required to play therapist accurately.
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