In this tweet I will grant you a super power of great insight, at the low low cost of becoming *intensely* annoying to hang out with: Every time tells a self-deprecating joke, they mean it literally and are pointing to a deep-seated insecurity they hope you won't notice.
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Hey look it's a rabbit hole leading to me learning this!
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I used to but now that I'm genuinely more comfortable with myself the self-deprication is mostly to humor friends. They need a laugh at things they don't understand sometimes, I think it's cute.
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I Wana go one deeper. They actually want you to both A take seriously their insecurity, B reassure then they're not terrible
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Sometimes, yeah, but most of the time if you actually *do* this they will find it very annoying.
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The lower their expectations, says my subconscious, the less likely they'll reject me.
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wait what else would it be
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yeah maybe the "they hope you wont notice" is the surprising part otherwise i'm at a loss here
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what if i self-deprecate through ironic self-assurance?
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I think this is true most of the time but not always. A self deprecating joke is basically drawing attention to an undesirable characteristic (according to society) before someone else does, but if you disagree that it's undesirable/important, it's not insecurity.
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It can also be a subculture thing where you make a joke about having a trait that is looked down on in general society but in your subculture it's implicitly seen as a positive, but has not yet been consciously acknowledged.
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