My least favourite genre of lie is "Thing everyone loudly says is true that is categorically false but that I wish were true."
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People are chill about this stuff right up until the point at which they're not, at which point everyone agrees that you should have been following the alleged rules all along and you're a bad person for not doing so. Low probability high risk event.
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Robin Hanson just tweeted out a paper about "Phantom Rules"; seems heavily related. Good term to have, anyway. Paper is here:https://psyarxiv.com/yfsed/
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