Follow up question. 1. Is having sexual fantasies about someone you know but do not have an IRL sexual relationship with creepy? 2. Do you do it?
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In general (and this is partly a cultural thing that exists from moving mostly in queer poly mostly female dominated spaces rather than the mainstream, but I've 100% encountered it from random women on the streets too) a lot of the creepier behaviour I see is from women.
And the reason is basically that it's treated as a harmless when women do it, so it doesn't trigger the same external or internal repercussions. A man being creepy is a big deal. A woman being creepy is generally not, so they don't necessarily learn how not to.
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(Ironic side note: This actually *does* mean creepy behaviour from women is less of a bad sign, because creepy behaviour from a man means despite all this messaging he *still* hasn't learned not to be creepy)
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Possibly we mean slightly different things? I think I'd claim the following are both true: 1. More men are low-grade creepy than women (although I have complex feelings about why this is). 2. High-grade creepy behaviour actually encountered is more likely to come from women.
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