This question prompted by a discussion with a friend in which we took different stances and were each non-judgemental but vaguely surprised by the other's stance.
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The core of slash fiction is basically an entire culture built around mostly cis het women objectifying gay men. (I don't necessarily think this is bad, but it's very much a thing)
In general (and this is partly a cultural thing that exists from moving mostly in queer poly mostly female dominated spaces rather than the mainstream, but I've 100% encountered it from random women on the streets too) a lot of the creepier behaviour I see is from women.
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And the reason is basically that it's treated as a harmless when women do it, so it doesn't trigger the same external or internal repercussions. A man being creepy is a big deal. A woman being creepy is generally not, so they don't necessarily learn how not to.
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(Ironic side note: This actually *does* mean creepy behaviour from women is less of a bad sign, because creepy behaviour from a man means despite all this messaging he *still* hasn't learned not to be creepy)
End of conversation
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