GeniesLoki

So emotional reactions are things that you've learned from your environment, and were often adaptive strategies that served a purpose at the time, right? And one of the reasons to relearn them is that they were learned in childhood, and they may not work well as an adult.

A big reason kid emotions don't work well as an adult is that your environment is totally different - you have much more autonomy than you ever did as a kid. So far I knew this, but I had a realisation of another big reason kid emotions don't work well as an adult: kids are dumb

Realisation prompted by https://twitter.com/GeniesLoki/status/1308132739632238592 … I can trace exactly where that strategy comes from. I adopted it a lot as a kid. It's a TERRIBLE strategy. It never worked even in the environments I learned it in.

Earnestly explaining to the person attacking you that they're wrong for attacking you is just fucking stupid. If they were amenable to that response they wouldn't be attacking you in the first place.

But try telling that to a kid who is confused and frightened and just wants the world to be fair and is responding with a strategy that would work if it was.

Me: Self-compassion! Find your inner child and hug it! Me shortly later: *experiences emotionally profound body shift from realising that kids are dumb and you can laugh at yourself when you're being dumb and that's OK*

I *think* this is made better by the fact that I went through the self-compassion phase first, but apparently my shadow is particularly delicious today.