Theory: Contrary to a literal reading, the harem fantasy is not about sex, but is instead a male fantasy of having more than one person you're allowed to be emotionally intimate with without having to give up a performance of masculinity that denies the need for that.
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I think most of the examples I have in mind though are a bit different from the standard anime trope in that they tend to be a bit more "Guy is aggressively awesome, gets all the women as a result", which doesn't feel like it has this core of acceptance-for-who-you-are.
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I should probably be able to point to specific examples but honestly they're mostly really bad so all the ones that stuck in my mind as worth reading are deconstructions.
End of conversation
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