GeniesLoki

Great suggestion. You're right, that's definitely a key component of good romantic relationships.

I thought I had an example of all four that didn't qualify for romance but then I concluded that it was mostly just romance plus denial.

that...is a mood

I still think there's something else there though. Maybe it's that what you're committing *too* that matters. It's possible to have a committed lifelong friendship in which all three of the other components are present but what you're committing to is not romance.

Whew. At that point my gut would say that what's missing is a sense of "we'll live together forever" plus perhaps either exclusivity or (if you're poly) a commitment to forever remain each other's primary partner, plus "if we're ever having kids, we're having them together."

Would you say there'd be something missing still then?

These don't seem like necessary conditions for romance to me TBH. I think there's a lot of scope for romance without any implied commitment to a deep intertwining of lives.

Poly relationships definitely abound with examples of romance where the degree of life sharing possible is sharply bounded. A secondary relationship isn't non-romantic just because it can never become primary.