GeniesLoki

I'm not sure! "Asexual" is a pretty large umbrella term and I don't fully understand the range of variation in phenomenology of attraction.

I've never heard of a person who completely lacks any kind of attraction level difference between, say, a gangrenous homeless person and an everyday model. Even nonsexually, everyone has people they like being physically close to vs. ones they don't, right?

There are definitely people who don't like to be close to anyone. Beyond that... there's a distinction between appeal, lack of repulsion, and attraction I think? Someone can be aesthetically pleasing, you might not mind being close to them, but that doesn't mean you're attracted

BTW I'm totally confused about the nature of romance in general, so I'm sharing the confusion rather than suggesting that I understand the answer.

I appreciate this note :-) Since sufficiently advanced confusion can be indistinguishable from deep understanding, I'd love to hear more about your confusion around romance!

Hmm so one confusion is that there appears to be a distinct felt sense of romantic love independently of how committed you are to a person. People fall out of romantic love while staying committed, people have romantic love while being unable to commit.

It also depends a bit on what you mean by "commitment" - e.g. poly people are certainly capable of experiencing romantic love without a monogamous commitment.

I also feel like I have a potential example of 1 + 2 + at least as much 3 as FwB, but the love experienced is still closer to a deep friendship than romance.