GeniesLoki

Same really. I have a few things I like enough that I might go as far as to say "Yeah I guess I'm a fan, but I'm not really part of the fandom"

Same. This does have some interrelated downsides, IME, of not fitting in communities, not being “known for/as” a thing, maybe having a weaker sense of self...

i think it's the opposite, people with weak sense of self tend to attach themselves (usually pretty liberally) to communities and fandoms in order to have a tangible identity

A thing that was suggested in Scattered Minds (which, again, I can't really recommend) that rang true is that one of the ways a poor sense of self can manifest is in fear of being subsumed in the other, so ends up with a weird kind of mixed longing for and terror of connection.

most of my experience with people with poor sense of self is bpd, and tbh I'm not convinced ADHD is a thing, but that sounds fake

I’m realizing I’m not that certain what it means to have “a poor sense of self”... some overall difficulty describing myself? E.g: am I “nice”? My gut response is something like “Idk, how should I know?” Not sure if that’s the same issue as community belonging, feels related...

The thing that felt most applicable to me was basically degree of variance in personality in response to the people around you. Ties into but isn't quite the same as ability to self-generate motivation rather than relying on it coming from others.

So less about a specific descriptive understanding and more the ability to be yourself in the absence of other people to provide self for you? I'm not sure if this is right though.