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some of it I think is because they seem incredibly immature in the identity? like as a queer person, I'll tolerate the GAY GAY RAINBOW GAY stuff from newly out ppl or during pride, but otherwise it looks like they came out & decided no further thought or personality was needed
Yeah there's definitely an almost direct queer analogue to the geek thing. Hmm. Wonder how much of this is "I have found my people" plus deep insecurity about whether you're really one of them? Overperforming out of fear of getting kicked out.
that seems really likely especially since part of overperforming is often gatekeeping, which I think is motivated by the desires/fears you discuss. not letting the thing you connected to slip away, attempting to prove you belong by becoming the arbitrator of membership
Yeah, definitely. Hmm. Weirdly this is kinda an inverted form of the thing where closeted gay people in homophobic environments (e.g. very conservative Christianity) prone to being extra homophobic in order to make sure they're not seen as gay.
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