It's called nonviolent communication mostly because they really want to emphasise that you're not supposed to punch them when they explain how it works.
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I think there are cases where it's clearly a good idea to do something like NVC (although NVC style requests are *super* passive aggressive) and cases where it's clearly a bad idea, and most of life lies somewhere in between these extremes.
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I think most of the 'nvc is bad' stuff comes from people using it badly and/or in the wrong situations. But then I also think it's hard to do well, and for relatively few situations. Almost that it's best as an internal practise only - be aware of it but respond more humanly!
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