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It was such a relief when I found out other people also felt this way (scott aaronson being the most famous example) It's still painful to think that there's no way to show attraction which isn't going to make some women uncomfortable, but the alternative is not dating at all.
Reading "Conflict is not Abuse" was such a relief for me because it helped me realise that sometimes you're going to make other people uncomfortable and that's basically fine. Discomfort is not harm, and there's no intrinsic right to have your comfort preserved.
Homeostasis involves a certain level of comfort with sexual attraction including the communication of those feelings
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