Presenting a Theory of Romance: Parts: 1. Pure love 2. Sexual attraction 3. Commitment 1+2 = Infatuation 1+3 = Deep friendship 2+3 = Fwb's 1+2+3 = Romantic love
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Replying to @Elodes12
I think it's a useful model, but asexual people report experiencing romantic love without sexual attraction, so there's perhaps something missing from it
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Replying to @GeniesLoki
If I said "physical attraction" (which I believe asexual people do experience) instead of sexual, would that fix it completely?
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Replying to @Elodes12
I'm not sure! "Asexual" is a pretty large umbrella term and I don't fully understand the range of variation in phenomenology of attraction.
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Replying to @GeniesLoki
I've never heard of a person who completely lacks any kind of attraction level difference between, say, a gangrenous homeless person and an everyday model. Even nonsexually, everyone has people they like being physically close to vs. ones they don't, right?
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Replying to @Elodes12
There are definitely people who don't like to be close to anyone. Beyond that... there's a distinction between appeal, lack of repulsion, and attraction I think? Someone can be aesthetically pleasing, you might not mind being close to them, but that doesn't mean you're attracted
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Replying to @GeniesLoki
I think I agree with that distinction. As for people who don't like to be close to anyone, though... My honest interpretation is that they're probably (small-t) traumatized in some way; I can't imagine more than .1% of people are naturally like that. Would you disagree?
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Yes, I'd agree with that. Some people seem to be like that without any obvious trauma but I can't help but feel that it doesn't seem like a healthy state and there's probably *something* bad for their mental health going on there.
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