Let me teach you a nonstandard dirty rhetorical trick: People really don't like to admit that they have done something morally bad, so it is *really* useful to argue in such a way that they can cast their behaviour as an honest mistake.
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Fair enough! Maybe it's the "true prisoners dilemma" version, i.e. you need to think about whether to leave a retreat *especially* when you really don't want to ("but they *should* be blamed!").
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