GeniesLoki

Yeah, I think I agree that a lot of mansplaining is an attempt to demonstrate competence as part of sexual interest, but my point is that I think if that's what they're doing then mansplaining and mansplaining-adjacent conversation is an example of fucking it up.

sure -- where i differ is that i think a strategy that looks like rude mansplaining in one scenario can actually work if the man is correctly calibrated to the ability of the woman.

strategies don't survive memetically if they never have an upside -- evolutionary fitness yo

Eh this is kinda true but the upside is often not the obvious one. My claim in the starting thread was that mansplaining is the result of a strategy that works well when both parties do it, poorly adapted, which is more than enough to guarantee memetic fitness.

we might be talking about two different things. you might be talking about nerds with poor social skills there is definitely a thing where men when talking to a hot girl they like alter their tone in a like they're teaching a child.

similarly, women when talking to a man they like, act weak like they need help with some physical or mental task.

Now sometimes nerds with poor social skills get unfairly accused of mansplaining when that's really just how they talk. but don't get it confused for the real thing which is really a real thing.

I never doubted it was a real thing! But I'm looking at the underlying mechanism. It's possible I'm wrong, in that my direct social experience is mostly with fellow nerds (albeit reasonably well socialised ones), but I just really struggle to imagine this working well.