GeniesLoki

Mansplaining is like talking to someone in French when you know they don't speak French - it's probably a dick move, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's reasonable for them to expect you to speak to them in English.

FWIW, I had an almost opposite working definition of mansplaining? It seems more common that they are assuming you know much *less* than would be reasonable to assume, given the same contextual info.

I agree about the mismatch— it’s just that, IME, they’re assuming an embarrassingly *low* level of prior knowledge. It’s not that they use too much technical language (which is almost a compliment?) it’s that they explain what would be taken as shared by almost anyone else.

Ex: knowing you’ve done physics phd research, and still starting an explanation like “you see, there’s this field called *quantum mechanics* that says that energy comes in tiny pack—“ (I just have not seen men do this to each other at nearly the rate I’ve experienced it)

the thing is, men are incentivized to talk like that because girls want it -- just on a topic that they truly don't understand. it only feels demeaning when they assume a prior level of knowledge that you actually have.

physics phd girl wants a man who can mansplain her the latest advances in quantum field theory -- then she feels like she's got somewhere

I am unconvinced that this is true. I think most people of any gender want conversations they can participate in as equals (even if not in knowledge). The sort of protocol failure that is occurring during mansplaining doesn't lead to that even if it's genuinely novel information.

As a peer to peer work-y kind of frame, sure people want to be roughly equals. But as a sexual frame women want to be explained to. So the mansplain is an attempt to turn the social frame into a sexual frame.