GeniesLoki

Hmm. Speculative thought, not sure if I believe it or not, but it feels truthy: The major division in masculine vs feminine conversation norms is whose responsibility it is to manage your feelings about the conversation. Male norms say it's yours, female norms say it's mine.

If true, this might explain some failure modes: In a conversation in which a man upsets a woman, each thinks the other is being a bad conversation partner by failing to uphold their responsibilities. (Again, speculative, also I'm not making a normative claim, just descriptive)

I guess more modest version of this claim: many conversational norms are usefully framed in terms of who is supposed to manage a particular emotion, and masculine norms more often assume you manage your own, while feminine ones more often assume you manage the other's.