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I guess more modest version of this claim: many conversational norms are usefully framed in terms of who is supposed to manage a particular emotion, and masculine norms more often assume you manage your own, while feminine ones more often assume you manage the other's.
This does seem to break down in a number of cases: e.g. when men are allowed to be angry at each other doesn't follow this pattern, and I'm a bit confused about what the intended cross gender norms are supposed to be.
Mostly I mean I don't know what the versions that live in most people's heads are.
as an older brother i was always yelled at if my sister was hurt or crying - even if her being hurt was nothing to do with me. i ended up internalising the norms you describe as feminine super hard.
it was framed as masculine in my upbringing though. never hurting or offending others meant you were a "gentleman" or you "knew your own strength" or that you were a "gentle giant"... all comforting masculine coded archetypes
Related: most men default to problem solving mindset when people want to have their feelings or state of mind just listened to
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