Hmm. Speculative thought, not sure if I believe it or not, but it feels truthy: The major division in masculine vs feminine conversation norms is whose responsibility it is to manage your feelings about the conversation. Male norms say it's yours, female norms say it's mine.
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If true, this might explain some failure modes: In a conversation in which a man upsets a woman, each thinks the other is being a bad conversation partner by failing to uphold their responsibilities. (Again, speculative, also I'm not making a normative claim, just descriptive)
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Replying to @GeniesLoki
Could also explain how attempts to let men down gently are read as positive signs, though I'm sure wishful thinking plays a large role there.
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Replying to @pozorvlak
Hmm. Yeah. Certainly a bunch of stuff seems explainable as men not understanding that women are spending time managing their feelings.
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Actually this is an interesting inverse to the "Male emotional labour is less visible" problem. Maybe it's *not* less visible in the wild, and men are just as bad at recognising that women are doing this at all, feminists have just done a good job of raising awareness.
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