Hmm. Speculative thought, not sure if I believe it or not, but it feels truthy: The major division in masculine vs feminine conversation norms is whose responsibility it is to manage your feelings about the conversation. Male norms say it's yours, female norms say it's mine.
Yeah, maybe this is a thing only as long when you're collaborating. Status fights seem different.
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But I think even in that case it's maybe not about feelings? Like it's not a declaration "You insulted me and made me sad", it's a declaration that you've done a thing that I cannot permit to stand. Not sure. Speculating wildly here.
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Sad, maybe not, but "you made me angry" is definitely a valid reason for violence ("crimes of passion")
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