If true, this might explain some failure modes: In a conversation in which a man upsets a woman, each thinks the other is being a bad conversation partner by failing to uphold their responsibilities. (Again, speculative, also I'm not making a normative claim, just descriptive)
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I guess more modest version of this claim: many conversational norms are usefully framed in terms of who is supposed to manage a particular emotion, and masculine norms more often assume you manage your own, while feminine ones more often assume you manage the other's.
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This does seem to break down in a number of cases: e.g. when men are allowed to be angry at each other doesn't follow this pattern, and I'm a bit confused about what the intended cross gender norms are supposed to be.
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Afaict in hetero dyads it's the opposite.
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Which is why dudes are suppressing their feelings all the time.
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hundo P. this was why your emotional/shadow labour for men thread hit for me.https://twitter.com/GeniesLoki/status/1298197746046971910 …
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"hundo P"?
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I think there is something here, but traditional "honor culture" is male-coded, but involves a lot of "you, sir, insulted me, and must apologize or I will challenge you to a duel!"
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Yeah, maybe this is a thing only as long when you're collaborating. Status fights seem different.
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I think this is a very general difference indeed, and one that lies at the core of the culture war as a whole:https://twitter.com/Elodes12/status/1299394680006770688 …
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