GeniesLoki

I agree with that. Also I've observed some confusion on the part of clients who feel they have a great friendship (or romantic connection) with their therapist. I don't think therapists typically believe this though, or that any school of therapy would encourage them to

I don't think they encourage them to form friendships or romantic relationships with clients, certainly, but they do encourage centring the relationship between the therapist and the client in a way that may be helpful for some people but I was not a fan of.

Like from my point of view I'm just not going to invest much emotional energy in anyone I'm paying by the hour. That doesn't mean I don't like, respect, and value them. That doesn't mean the relationship isn't important. It does mean it's very secondary to why I'm there.

I guess I see it as me investing money and time and my humanist therapist investing emotional energy. Not having to care about the therapist is why it was transformative - I could bare my soul in a way I could with nobody else... and get genuine care and compassion in return

I think the core of this difference is in this emotional investment thing, which I find interesting. I need to think what kind of 'investments' I make in friends vs what I'd want to invest in a therapist

I think part of it is that honestly I don't care that much how much compassion a therapist has for me? I want them to take my problems seriously and discuss them nonjudgementally, and I wouldn't trust them to do that without some compassion but beyond that it doesn't matter to me

The sort of relationship I have with a friend has an intrinsic mutuality to it that I'm never going to get out of a transactional relationship. With a friend I *do* care about their good opinion of me (and vice versa), but a therapist's opinion only matters via our interactions.

To go back to your comparison with a coworker: It matters that I am friendly with a coworker, that we have a good working relationship, etc. but I don't really care what they think of my personal life unless we're actually to become friends outside of work.