GeniesLoki

I came here to ask this. Do I not have a warm human connection with my colleagues, housemates, etc because money is involved? Do I not have one with the people I volunteer to help, because they don't help me back?

The limiting factor of the therapeutic relationship is not that "money is involved" but that it's something you're paying for by the hour and goes away when you stop paying for it, which is a much more specific scenario.

I think it's important to have a good relationship with the therapist, but it's necessarily a fairly specific type of working relationship, and does not serve well as a prototype for relationships more broadly.

I agree with that. Also I've observed some confusion on the part of clients who feel they have a great friendship (or romantic connection) with their therapist. I don't think therapists typically believe this though, or that any school of therapy would encourage them to

I don't think they encourage them to form friendships or romantic relationships with clients, certainly, but they do encourage centring the relationship between the therapist and the client in a way that may be helpful for some people but I was not a fan of.

Like from my point of view I'm just not going to invest much emotional energy in anyone I'm paying by the hour. That doesn't mean I don't like, respect, and value them. That doesn't mean the relationship isn't important. It does mean it's very secondary to why I'm there.

I guess I see it as me investing money and time and my humanist therapist investing emotional energy. Not having to care about the therapist is why it was transformative - I could bare my soul in a way I could with nobody else... and get genuine care and compassion in return

I think the core of this difference is in this emotional investment thing, which I find interesting. I need to think what kind of 'investments' I make in friends vs what I'd want to invest in a therapist