Too nuclear a take to leave languishing in replies.https://twitter.com/GeniesLoki/status/1300458301881286657 …
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Replying to @GeniesLoki
Why has masculinity failed so hard in this environment? It seems like men were fairly ok up until the 90s
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Replying to @hodlsquirrel @GeniesLoki
My personal opinion: men are caught in two movements (feminism, conservatism) that are at turns callous, neglectful, and/or cruel to them; the result is basically widespread, unacknowledged, untreated abuse symptoms
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Replying to @__rowboat__ @GeniesLoki
As a result many men are coping using outlets for aggression and sexual desire (video games, porn). Copes can be effective pain relief but often don't promote growth
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Replying to @GeniesLoki @__rowboat__
I'd maybe also add that I think many of the useful tools to deal with these problems are implicitly denied to men (often by themselves) because they've been female coded - e.g. therapy is seen as much more shameful for men than for women. (Not that therapy is a panacea)
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Replying to @GeniesLoki
I object to "by themselves" when the behavior is the result of abusive conditioning. The implication is that men are to blame for those decisions and no societal change is needed to encourage and support them.
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Replying to @__rowboat__ @GeniesLoki
Compare: anorexics reject food "by themselves". But supporting an anorexic does not mean just yelling at them "EAT THE FOOD". Likewise supporting men to get therapy does not just mean yelling "GO TO THERAPY".
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Replying to @__rowboat__
Sorry, by "by themselves" I meant "by other men" rather than by the individuals who are failing to seek therapy. I agree that this is the result of abusive conditioning and needs a systemic approach to fix. I'm certainly against yelling "go to therapy" at anyone.
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TBH I'm mostly
on whether therapy helps at the individual level at all - I think it's much more useful to have a whole bunch of therapy skills in the water in a community than therapy is for individuals themselves.
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Replying to @GeniesLoki @__rowboat__
(I think therapy clearly helps if you have a great patient/therapist match, a willingness to work on your problems yourself, a lot of money to throw at the problem, and the sort of problems that are amenable to solving with therapy, but that's a lot of preconditions)
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Replying to @GeniesLoki
I think therapy has become a dumping ground where instead of saying the reactionary "shut up and deal" (because society at large doesn't want to support you) you can say the progressive "go to therapy" (because society at large doesn't want to support you)
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