GeniesLoki

I understand that everyone is coming from a place of hurt, and we are all on different stages of our journey, and I try to allow room for others to grow in their understanding of the world and their personal journey, but I am only so strong in my ability to internalise this.

And one way my weakness and difficulty with forgiveness manifests is like this: If you deploy abuser tactics, then I wish you the very best in your personal growth, but it is very unlikely that I will ever trust you again.

And maybe you don't realise that's what you're doing. Maybe you think you're justified, or didn't consider the harms of your action. This is probably true for a lot of people doing this. But, well, apparently intent isn't magic.

I wonder if the same people are hostile to edge cases of category membership? I mean, if someone does this not out of being callous but because this is how they process the world, my best guess is that they simply don't see an individual but an instance-of-clusters-{A,F,O,S,Y}.

Maybe, yeah, but people who do this seem to have such total defences against seeing people as individuals who are being hurt by their behaviour that I can't help but feel that it's a deliberate tactic to avoid being held accountable for their actions.

Like it may be true that someone is hurting me because they refuse to see me as a person, but that doesn't make it *better*.

I wasn't trying to make it better as such, just hypothesizing that maybe they don't refuse to (i.e. they could but decide not to) but basically cannot; and that, relatedly, category-counterexamples ("is Pluto a planet?") cause them a great deal of cognitive dissonance.

It's possible! But I've learned to distrust people's insistence that they cannot do something when that supposed inability is strongly in their best interests to maintain.