I've been trying to read more Christian philosophy recently and until this thread my hypothesis was that it wasn't quite so obvious how incredibly abusive it was from the inside. "They know it's abusive but think they deserve it" is not a hypothesis I'd entertained. 
I should maybe add that I don't avoid Christians (except ones who will try to convert me, who I've had some frustrating experiences with in the past), the lack of many Christians in my social circle is just a mix of location and queerness of my social circle.
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I know a moderate number of *ex* Christians, yeah, although oddly that skews more towards weird niche denominations bordering on cults. Possibly I just don't notice when they're ex of a more vanilla denomination though.
End of conversation
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