What if the reason why women do most of the emotional labour is that we don't count it as emotional labour when men do it? (I was surprisingly reluctant to tweet this even on alt)
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To be fair, men on average are more dangerous. People probably know this instinctually or can identify certain features in the face and physiology of a man who is stronger and a better fighter. People use heuristics for safety/survival, not that they’re w/o drawbacks
Note that I didn't say men shouldn't do this! It's very reasonable and mostly good that men do this. "Emotional labour" doesn't mean "bad", it means "work done to manage emotions".
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That being said it's emotional labour that tends to fall very disproportionately on men of colour, interacts particularly poorly with bad mental health, and I think mostly ends up as safety theatre rather than helping much in practice. Still probably worth it, but not pure good.
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True I just mean, people’s survival via avoiding angry men might be worth the suffering [angry] men experience or the work they have to do. It’s work cuz it’s tasking innit
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I’m not sure there’s a way to change this in ways that aren’t more harmful than good; the equilibrium is p shitty This, assuming men with features that are perceived to be and characteristic of ‘better fighters or less emotionally stable’ are indeed *biologically* ‘ ‘
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