GeniesLoki

I do think this is true in general - most people probably conform pretty well to a gender binary and that's fine, but I think if 100% of your traits match your expected gender that may be a sign that there's Some Shit you would benefit from working on.https://twitter.com/GeniesLoki/status/1298524223309324288 …

Total conformance to an assigned social role is usually a sign that you're working way too hard as a result of punishment for deviation from external sources, and many of those external sources have probably eased off as an adult but you've still got them internalised.

I expect just by weight of numbers there are some very manly men and very femme women who are 100% comfortable in themselves and just naturally fit that way, but I think if you've not done a bunch of self-examination that's probably not you.

Weirdly, the more self-examination I (AFAB) do the more femme I end up. I suspect a lot of my androgynous presentation was about trying to expect some coolness/emotional repression from me, rather than responding to me as though I was being bitchy

Yeah, I have some of that too (from the linked thread: https://twitter.com/GeniesLoki/status/1298524038873124865 … ) I think this might just be a "self-examination makes you more yourself" thing? So both gender conforming and non-conforming traits come out more.

My presentation is pretty default masc anyway but that's always been more of a "Life sure is easy when you look like a default white guy, isn't it?" passing thing than because I particularly care about masculine presentation.