What if the reason why women do most of the emotional labour is that we don't count it as emotional labour when men do it? (I was surprisingly reluctant to tweet this even on alt)
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I guess another way to look at this is that women are expected to perform emotional labour to come off as friendly and helpful, while men are expected to perform emotional labour to come off as strong yet safe (except when doing power games, in which case just strong).
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It's maybe worth noting that emotional labour is not intrinsically bad, and many of these examples of men doing emotional labour are in fact things we probably want men to keep doing, I just think it needs acknowledging that this is indeed expecting emotional labour of them.
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So obvious I didn't even think of it: heterosexual dating norms are full of examples of male emotional labour - e.g. expecting men to approach women (Also full of examples of female emotional labour, just different things)https://twitter.com/GeniesLoki/status/1300523796470861832?s=19 …
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Acknowledging men do anything unique or worthwhile would sorta undermine "men are terrible" discourse, wouldn't it?
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