Total conformance to an assigned social role is usually a sign that you're working way too hard as a result of punishment for deviation from external sources, and many of those external sources have probably eased off as an adult but you've still got them internalised.
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I expect just by weight of numbers there are some very manly men and very femme women who are 100% comfortable in themselves and just naturally fit that way, but I think if you've not done a bunch of self-examination that's probably not you.
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