3. I'm certainly curious and open to hearing more about a proposed parallel movement, it's not something I've really thought of.
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Replying to @__rowboat__ @sullyj3
It's something I've thought of but honestly founding a movement sounds exhausting so I mostly just try to move the needle with Twitter threads and other writing and kinda hope that having enough good memes out there will help.
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Replying to @GeniesLoki @sullyj3
I don't mean to demean your attitude or efforts - I am genuinely grateful. But this is an example of why I am pessimistic and why I think that pessimism is important. The range of reaction is largely between "I drink male tears" and "I'm pro-male, but not doing much about it."
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Boys and men don't have the biggest ID group problem set in the world, but I think it's important, at a practical level, for us to know how alone we are in dealing with those problems.
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Replying to @__rowboat__ @sullyj3
I don't think men are alone in dealing with those problems though - I think they often get a lot of one on one help. It's true that there's not as much broad political support for them but, well, that's why I talk about this stuff.
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Replying to @GeniesLoki @sullyj3
"100% of men are 100% alone" would be an exaggeration, but if we agree that there isn't broad political support, couldn't we agree that many men should expect inadequate support as the default?
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Replying to @__rowboat__ @sullyj3
I think this statement is too abstract for me to agree or disagree with. I think most men with close female friends or partners probably have adequate interpersonal support if they feel safe reaching out for it. I think most community-level issues are badly supported.
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Replying to @GeniesLoki @sullyj3
Even if I were to 100% agree, look at your requirements! *Close* female friends or partners AND they must feel safe reaching out. These are not trivial!
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Replying to @__rowboat__ @sullyj3
Almost nobody has trivially available adequate support though? Close friends who you feel safe reaching out to is where most support comes from.
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Replying to @GeniesLoki @sullyj3
What are we disagreeing on then? Broad social support is missing/insufficient, personal support is highly contingent. You might be so damaged you can't make or communicate with close female friends. I describe this situation as bleak - couldn't we agree?
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I think we're disagreeing on causal factors behind the lack of interpersonal support? You seem to be arguing that it's mostly because women are unwilling to provide it, I'm arguing that it's mostly because men are unwilling to seek it. The latter seems more fixable.
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Replying to @GeniesLoki @sullyj3
I would say, sort of both - although I would not blame women as unwilling, but society generally as a combo of unwilling and/or incapable. If you have certain serious male-specific problems you should not expect adequate, easy to find help without serious tradeoffs.
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I would also argue that "men are unwilling to seek help" is like "anorexics are unwilling to eat food". Trauma-induced behavior requires support to change, so putting the responsibility on the trauma victim is tricky at best. Visible, attractive support is important.
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